Nattalia – Finding back her forgotten self and also happiness in the process
Finding back her forgotten self and also happiness in the process
This is the story of Nattalia from New York Meditation Centre. Despite only being in her twenties, she has long suffered from an extreme case of insomnia, which affected her life greatly. I am extremely happy that she has managed to regain her happiness, confidence and health through Bodhi Meditation and I sincerely hope that others like her can find happiness in their lives too.
At the ring of the alarm clock, I woke up and it was 5.20am. “Great! Great!” I exclaimed inside me with joy. When I wake up every morning and see that the hour hand of the clock points at 5, I will be overjoyed and my heart is filled with a sense of satisfaction and achievement.
At this point of reading, you must be thinking that I am and have been a very happy and blessed person. However, it was not like this before. In the past, I suffered from depression, worries, insomnia, so much sadness that one cannot imagine and I was not able to get myself out of it….
Prior to Bodhi Meditation, I had insomnia for a long time. Every night I would fall asleep till 3 am and thereafter I would toss in bed for almost 2 hours or more and many times not able to get back to sleep. I would stay wide awake till 5.30am where I would need to get ready for work. I was so troubled by insomnia and had the least idea or clue as to why I had to suffer from the pain of inability to sleep. I became depressed and felt helpless as well as hopeless about the state I was in.
My insomnia led to depression. The pain of suffering went beyond imagination that I started to use a blade to cut my wrist. The extreme manifestation of pain and frustration was not something anyone can comprehend and I found no one to confide to. I decided to keep myself busy at all times, may it be at work, social, exercise, dancing, traveling ……..
However the results were not lasting. For instance when traveling was over, reality returned and I went back to my old self where I felt hopeless and would cry for no reasons. Happiness did not belong to me and I was totally helpless…
On the morning of March 10, I was feeling extremely rock bottom and was having difficulty in catching a decent breath. I almost gave up as the pain of suffering was unbearable. At that very moment, I was determined to find a solution to stop the prolonged suffering and I wondered who could really help me?
Maybe my internal calling got me a respond. On that very afternoon, I was drawn to a signage “Bodhi Meditation brings Health and Happiness”
It immediately attracted me to walk towards the Bodhi Meditation Centre to register for the class as I knew Health and Happiness is something I am in search of desperately.
On the 4th day of the class, I felt that my eyes sparkled and brightened. When home, I no longer cry or tear without reason. It came to my realization that the Great Illumination Meditation had helped to remove the depressed feeling and frustration I used to experience for a long period of time. On the 5th day of class, I felt that I have gotten the powerful energy of the Greater Illumination during the practice in class and it overwhelmed me. Upon reaching home that day, I went through the photographs of those people whom I had hurt or been hurt or even once hated, I realized that I no longer had that anger or hatred towards them anymore. In fact, looking at the smiles of their faces in the photographs brought back happy memories of moments I shared with them.
Once I decided to forgive and let bygones be bygones, My heart felt lighter and relaxes. The warmth that followed magically wiped out all feelings of depression bottled all these years in me. I felt relieved instantly and happiness filled my heart.
Now I could sleep soundly like a baby every night with sweet dreams.
The quality of my sleep improved tremendously. After attending the class, I am renewed. I accepted challenges in life with positive strife. My outlook in life, my mood, my thoughts changed for the better and I could be more receptive towards what life presents itself. I learnt to be positive, forgiving, thankful and handled situations and people with more compassion. I love myself and my life.
Being happy is simple. I begin to adopt a new perspective in life. I am thankful to benefit from the teachings of Master Jin.
Hope that my sharing will help everyone out there who may just be looking for that some sparkle of hope.
Please share so that more can benefit. Blessings to all.